Saturday, December 28, 2013

משפחה Familia οικογένεια Familie 家族 Familj Teaghlaigh

How do you say family? What does that word mean to you? Is it just those who are related to you biologically or does it include a larger group? As my friend, who has been staying with us for many months, prepares to fly away tomorrow morning to live with her husband in Northern Ireland I can't help but feel like we are losing a part of our family. She isn't biologically related to us, but she has been such an important part of our lives and has become a part of our little family.
Those questions are also important for those who are adopting. One of the biggest fears of those who are preparing to adopt is, "Can I love this child like 'my own'?" Scott even said that he had worried about it a bit and I looked at him and said, "But don't you love me?". He smiled and said, "Yes!" That was that; of course he could love someone who wasn't biologically related to him, he has loved me for over 12 years!
This has never really been an issue for me, I hadn't even thought about it until I read this in a book about adoptive parenting. I believe this is due to the mentality and values of my parents. As we were growing up my parents were always bringing in people who needed a place to stay or just needed a place to have dinner. If someone didn't have a family to spend time with, we became that family for them.
Scott and I both have a lot of biological family, but we also have a lot of friends we would consider to be family as well. Those who don't need an invitation to come over, those who don't knock when they enter our house, those who invite us for "family" dinners, and those who love us no matter what kind of crap we put each other through, in fact we often become closer through the hard times! These are our family and it doesn't matter how we came to know each other.
When you look up the definition of family on Google, one of the definitions is: "a group of people united in criminal activity", this could describe some of our friends. :)  But another definition is: "a person or people related to one and so to be treated with special loyalty or intimacy." So, what is the definition of related: "belonging to the same family, group, or type; connected" That last word is important to me... connected. So, let's put it together, a family is a person or people connected to one and so to be treated with special loyalty or intimacy. Exactly! We have chosen to be each other's family because we have chosen to be connected to each other.
That is what we are doing through adoption. We are choosing to connect ourselves to a child who needs a family to treat them with special loyalty. We are expanding our family, sharing our love, "loving for keeps".

Go here to see our latest update; exciting news posted today! http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/loving-for-keeps/102675

Monday, December 2, 2013

Expecting

   Scott and I are expecting parents! We don't have a due date, we don't get one of those unintelligible pictures of our growing baby every couple months or so, and my belly isn't increasing in size every week (but it will be if I don't lay off the comfort food, haha). It is a different kind of expecting. We have been required to answer all the hard questions already, we have to come up with enough money to raise this child to adulthood, but then spend most of it before we even meet him/her, and we don't know when they will be here, it could be any day or it could be years from now. But, nevertheless, we are expecting to be parents. Instead of anxiously awaiting every little kick, we get excited about e-mails and phone calls! We are excited and scared and nervous... as are most expecting parents. We are preparing for a child to come to our home, our family. We don't know what this child will look like, we don't even know what the color of their skin will be, but this doesn't matter. We are so excited to meet our child someday! We are so excited to be a family of three after over 11 years of just the two of us. 
   We are also guarding our hearts. It has been a rough and rocky two years of seeking to adopt. I imagine that we feel the same trepidation that a pregnant woman would feel who has had a miscarriage. It is a hesitant kind of expecting. You believe, hope and pray that everything will work out, but you don't know the future, you don't know what God has in store for your family. It is hard. 
   Please don't mistake our hesitancy for lack of excitement and enthusiasm, we really can't wait to be parents! It is just a difficult thing to let your heart become so invested in something after it has been stomped on a few times. We are taking it one baby step at a time. We hope to put together a baby registry soon, a very big step for me! It makes me all nervous and giddy at the same time. We have purchased paint and such for the "nursery". I am hoarding my PTO (Paid Time Off) hours like a squirrel in the fall, since paid maternity leave isn't guaranteed for an adoptive mother at my work. All of these things are small, baby steps to our hearts' desires. We know we are on the path that God has intended for us, in fact He proved it to us this last weekend (more on that at another time). We are expectant parents and we are expecting a miracle! 
   This morning I looked at Facebook on my phone and then shut off the screen and put the phone down. A couple seconds later the screen lit up again as if I was getting a phone call so I picked it up. Somehow my Bible app had opened and the verse of the day was looking back at me. "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we have asked of Him." 1 John 5:14-15   
Thank you, Lord, for hearing us! 

http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/loving-for-keeps/102675