Saturday, December 28, 2013

משפחה Familia οικογένεια Familie 家族 Familj Teaghlaigh

How do you say family? What does that word mean to you? Is it just those who are related to you biologically or does it include a larger group? As my friend, who has been staying with us for many months, prepares to fly away tomorrow morning to live with her husband in Northern Ireland I can't help but feel like we are losing a part of our family. She isn't biologically related to us, but she has been such an important part of our lives and has become a part of our little family.
Those questions are also important for those who are adopting. One of the biggest fears of those who are preparing to adopt is, "Can I love this child like 'my own'?" Scott even said that he had worried about it a bit and I looked at him and said, "But don't you love me?". He smiled and said, "Yes!" That was that; of course he could love someone who wasn't biologically related to him, he has loved me for over 12 years!
This has never really been an issue for me, I hadn't even thought about it until I read this in a book about adoptive parenting. I believe this is due to the mentality and values of my parents. As we were growing up my parents were always bringing in people who needed a place to stay or just needed a place to have dinner. If someone didn't have a family to spend time with, we became that family for them.
Scott and I both have a lot of biological family, but we also have a lot of friends we would consider to be family as well. Those who don't need an invitation to come over, those who don't knock when they enter our house, those who invite us for "family" dinners, and those who love us no matter what kind of crap we put each other through, in fact we often become closer through the hard times! These are our family and it doesn't matter how we came to know each other.
When you look up the definition of family on Google, one of the definitions is: "a group of people united in criminal activity", this could describe some of our friends. :)  But another definition is: "a person or people related to one and so to be treated with special loyalty or intimacy." So, what is the definition of related: "belonging to the same family, group, or type; connected" That last word is important to me... connected. So, let's put it together, a family is a person or people connected to one and so to be treated with special loyalty or intimacy. Exactly! We have chosen to be each other's family because we have chosen to be connected to each other.
That is what we are doing through adoption. We are choosing to connect ourselves to a child who needs a family to treat them with special loyalty. We are expanding our family, sharing our love, "loving for keeps".

Go here to see our latest update; exciting news posted today! http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/loving-for-keeps/102675

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